Person: “You better do this or A will be angry.”
Other person: “Oh, I will just explain blah, blah.”
Person: “You know how she/he is. You know what will happen
if you do/don’t do this.”
It took me hearing this conversation a few times to get that
people were being trained to fear the person in authority. I couldn’t help but
think, “Why does that person need to be feared instead of respected?”
We have all had our share of bosses, co-workers, and maybe
even family members, who everyone jumped at just the mention of their name.
People adjusted their behavior and even speaking level based on the mood of
this person. People would scatter as they came into the room just to be out of
the path of their anger.
It reminds me of the 1988 movie, ‘Big Business,’ where the
boss, Sadie Shelton, has people so afraid of her that the people in the office
call each other when she arrives at the building. As she makes her way through
the office people dive into closets as she unleashes her venom on those in her
view.
Bruno Bettelheim says, “Punishment may make us obey the orders we are given, but at best it will
only teach an obedience to authority, not a self-control which enhances our
self-respect.” It seems that some people do not understand that respect
and obedience through fear are not the same thing.
Steve Jobs, by his own
admission, was not the nicest guy in Silicon Valley to work for before he was
fired by the company he founded. When he went back some 14 years later, there
was a different man at the helm. He was still ambitious and driven, but the
angry boss was gone.
We have to make sure as
leaders that we are respecting people and treating them properly. When people
are treated right, they will give back the respect they have been given.
The other way to put it
is, if you think that employee is going to keep all that anger and resentment
they receive to themselves, you are in for a rude awakening. Most likely, it is
being pushed onto your customers.
